Everything that has happened on earth (and maybe beyond
earth) to this present moment has influenced what I am and what this present
moment is. Everything that happens in
this present moment affects and shapes the future. Thus the present moment is truly a part of
Eternity, and if I am in the present moment I am part of Eternity.
I spent most of my life desperately avoiding the present
moment because it seemed (and sometimes can be) very dangerous. Often I did this in ways that are considered
positive, essentially ways to make the future better, intuitively hoping I
could then join in. Things like getting a
couple doctorate degrees, various types of psychotherapy, prescribed
medications, vitamins and herbal products, exercise, weight loss, 12-step
programs, etc. I also did it in negative
ways, like overeating, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc, as well as some
neutral ways, like pursuing hobbies and buying toys, living in picturesque settings, and above all lots of
thinking and planning.
And at times I successfully created a fairly comfortable
world where it would have been reasonably safe to join the present moment. However, the only thing I knew to do was
continue to try to make things better. I
had no idea how to join the moment, and above all, the moment still did not
seem safe (even if it mostly was).* There were parts of myself and what I call
my visceral beliefs about myself and the world that I was not able to accept. In fact I was typically so far from accepting them that I could not see them anywhere near accurately.
My hope is that this blog will be about how I have and
continue to explore, discover, and embrace every part of myself and the world,
so that I can be whole, free, and part of Eternity. My experience thus far seems to indicate the
path leads to exactly what I have always wanted and does so to an extent that
is indescribably beautiful and wonderful.
The extent seems to be related to my ability at any given
time to surrender myself to the process and moment. However, let me be as clear as possible
because this misconception held me back as much as anything. When I say the extent seems to be related to
my ability at any given time to surrender myself to the process and moment, I
mean only for that moment. If I wait
until I am ready, willing or able to surrender myself completely and forever, I
likely never will do so.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was
You know Chad
It turns out that really aligning with a Moment even every
now and then can and does change me and my life. In fact it generally does so much more than excruciating
planning and effort, while being an incredibly fulfilling, meaningful and
joyous path.
*The moment can never be completely safe.
