Paradoxes

Another FB comment to a post about how the narrow way Jesus talks about does not mean being closed minded or not contemplating things broadly.  This comment rambles at times and I apologize for that.

AA also refers to the Path as the Broad Highway, and it is one of countless paradoxes that both are absolutely true, which can only be comprehended by what people variously refer to as Christ within, the indwelling Spirit, the Holy Spirit, the true self, the soul, etc, and I refer to mainly as our deepest self or more recently our own image of God within. This is the part of us that knows we are a small but real part of The Entirety, including Eternity in both directions (aka God). It is the part of us that knows we are all part of this same Entirety, which is God, and thus everything deserves respect and care. Our greatest desires all revolve around allowing this part of ourselves to live out its destiny of being a connected and valuable (even if extremely tiny) part of this Greatest Whole.

However, this part of us feels very vulnerable and like it must be protected at all costs because life is rough/traumatic/painful/scary and it has often been hurt and when it is hurt too badly and will not show its self at all we are permanently separated from Everything Else, which is accurately described as hell. Thus generally if we are trying to live a religious/spiritual/righteous life we spend most of our time trying to make things safe such that we might be able to live from this sacred part of us, but it can never be perfectly safe and thus even many of those really trying very hard to live religious/spiritual/righteous lives end up spending most of their life trying to make things safe to bring out this most important part and our truest identity, rather than actually living from it in this messy dangerous world. For the religiously inclined this most commonly takes the form of trying to convince others of theological theories of beliefs (name of religion/doctrine/dogma/creeds/etc) because if they got everyone else to agree on one it would be safe to live from this part of us.

Normally, the only thing that makes us actually find and maybe start living from this deepest part of ourselves is if we are in so much pain and have tried everything else we can think of as a solution. Then we might truly live a Hail Mary pass and as is attributed to Joseph Campbell, “find our treasure in the cave we have most feared to go.” This is why the least are first RIGHT NOW in the Kingdom if they enter that cave and have good mentors and fellowship with others who have found it necessary to also enter this cave and find the Treasure we are all most seeking. This is also why It is the narrow way because It is found in the last place we want to look and the place the world and even most religious people truly trying to be helpful most steer us away from. And if we do not find good mentors and fellowship with others who have decided (again normally from desperation) to enter that cave and live from the Treasure they find, it is normally impossible for us to do it even if we try courageously and desperately.

We also have to get a big enough taste of this Treasure along with having good mentors for a while and then becoming good mentors and friends with others trying to live from the Treasure, to make the very real suffering of this Entirety we find ourselves in sustainable and then eventually the glue that binds us with glory to the Entirety. When we know from living from this Treasure that any suffering we are willing to endure to be in solidarity with The Entirety turns to glory when we do it for this purpose and with this understanding. It is actually the obvious and natural result of truly living in communion, and of course the ultimate Glory of God is the ultimate symbol of this - Christ on the Cross.

We also have to get a big enough taste of this Treasure to make our own suffering and vulnerability of living from this deepest part of ourselves turn to glory as we start to understand that everyone’s truest identity is not as an individual but as a valuable, somewhat unique and tiny part of The Entirety, and the only reason they hurt us or anyone else is they are separated from this deepest part of themselves (in hell) and acting from the pain this separation causes, because they do not know to enter the cave through the pain, and thus have to do something else with the pain, which they invariably inflict on others. This does not mean we have to accept it or tolerate it, but it is the way to not take it personally. And if we do not take it personally it does not hurt us at our deepest levels and prevent us from living from this sacred place within us, which is all that really matters.

After we find our Treasure and fellowship where we can start to learn to live from It (which is the Kingdom of God right here and now on earth) we will start to learn how to live from It outside our fellowship and in this way attract new people interested in this Treasure, which is everyone’s greatest desire. We will actually learn that there are countless ways to live from this sacred place and encourage others to find their own and live from It, which is aptly referred to as the Broad Highway.

We just have to want to find and live from our own and be willing to experience what we think will be our own suffering and the suffering of being in solidarity or communion with Everything Else. Then if we actually do want this and decide to do it, we will learn that it is actually glory (rather than suffering) we experience to the extent we are all in for The Entirety. And if we even get there a little bit we will forever know That is what everything is about and if we continue to decide to pursue It by finding friends and mentors that have seen a little of It and want to help themselves find more by spending time exploring It with others we will succeed. If we cannot find the right types of friends and mentors or we are not willing to possibly suffer to benefit things beyond us our chances are not good.

It is kind of another paradox that we only really suffer when we are trying to avoid our own suffering, but we are human, which means we are almost always a mixed bag and have multiple motives and expectations for things like reciprocity. It is hard to sort through these things and get better at following our deepest sacred place towards true giving without personal motives or attached expectations, and it is almost impossible without friends and mentors aiming for similar things.

And what you are suggesting, as far as questioning our theological (and I would say other) assumptions, that is a great way in my experience to find this deepest place within us because it turns out that all of our thinking and feelings originate from that place. It is not only our deepest place, it is our most ancient place and thus evolutionarily where thoughts and feelings developed from and still where they come from or originate. Tracing the thoughts and feelings back to it in meditation and with supportive friends and mentors is how transformation actually occurs. In fact it seems to be only at this place where thinking and feelings both originate and thus can mingle, that all insights and thus transformations occurs.

Anyone willing to contemplate all that would almost certainly be following your advice to go outside their own theological box. However, believe it or not I would not suggest contemplating all of it to most people. I would suggest just contemplating anything that might resonate deep within them and see where that leads.

A week later after I had met with my friend.  As I was saying on the boat, part of this comment above has been bugging me since a day or so after I posted it. So I am going to try to rectify that now.

Basically the part that has been bugging me is the language of the last (or least) will be first, and the problem primarily stems from the fact that language is always insufficient to accurately express spiritual truths. However, short of being in another’s presence where we can subtlety convey more, we are stuck with language as our method of conveying.

The part that bugs me I’ll try to explain using my wife and I as examples even though we are not perfect examples of the concept. I am a pharmacist and twice got caught taking drugs from the pharmacy I worked at to fuel my drug addiction, the first time a lot drugs and the second not very many because my wife found out quickly and honorably turned me in.

My wife then continued to support and love me through all of it, including me often being unbearable as I desperately searched for a solution other than alcohol and drugs to help me not feel internally tortured, as I had most of my life when not under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

After a decade of this desperate searching enough things came together or maybe one or two big things changed (it is hard to say) to allow me to experience peace and a sense of well-being much of the time, and this has been fairly consistent and sustainable for many years.

Now I still often overeat, I use caffeine to pick me up, and I am hot tub dependant, but I get along fairly well and fairly happily with increasing amounts of feeling extremely good, which always correlates in some way with how much I feel I am able to live in communion with everything else. Another way to say what it correlates with is how consistently I am walking with the Spirit or how well I am integrating the Spirit into my daily life. Or how well I am integrating or living from Christ within, if I define Christ within as the deepest part of myself that knows that everything Jesus taught is accurate. And I am not saying that is your definition of Christ within, but my interaction with you has led me to that definition and allowed me to warm up to Christianity in general a bit more. And since my goal is to warm to everything beyond myself and to live more in communion with everything else, that is a big gift and I thank you.

Now moving on to why I set my wife and I up as examples, I was internally tortured and in biblical terms probably possessed or something like the least or last, and I really should have ended up in jail and probably never made it anywhere good. However, through tons of Grace from all sorts of places I have at least for a while made it to a really nice place. And my journey or experience through all the darkness does really make me more useful now to some people than my wife, and while she might disagree I think made my connection to the Spirit/deepest self/Christ within forged through the darkness more expansive and maybe more intense.

However, to go beyond this and say that I am somehow ahead in the Kingdom is crazy and I do not believe it even a little. Maybe none of this was necessary though because anyone who really understands the Kingdom understands there is no first or last or anything like that There.

Meister Eckhart over 700 years ago wrote that “to get at the core of God at his greatest, one must first get into the core of himself at his least.”

Dr Carl Jung observed, “one of the main functions of formalized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God.”

Fr Richard Rohr, dedicates a whole book (Falling Upward) to what he calls, A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, in which he discusses that we have to first have a religion with rules to follow for the first half of life, which I would term the faith of our fathers because it is our male ancestors that developed that religion. The spirituality for the second half of life is to mature to the point in Faith that we realize the rules or laws were never the point. The point is always living consistently with what out deepest and most benevolent self knows is true, which is always consistent with the core or essence of any of the great religions.

And Jesus and the Buddha agree completely on this. Jesus of course says it is not about the law or rules, but about what underlies our actions and the Buddha says that all his suggested practices and even beliefs are a path to enlightenment, but once enlightenment is attained they are not necessary.

How this ties in with my initial discussion of least and first is that we who think we have found some sort of new wholeness and freedom through the Spirit (2nd half) want everyone else to need and want this 2nd half spirituality like we have needed it and now want it. Those in the 1st half are often busy fighting about the rules/laws (doctrine/dogma/denominations/name of religion).

Some of this has just occurred to me today and I am not sure I am settled upon it as definitely being right, but I think those of us who think we have found some sort of new wholeness and freedom through the Spirit need to try to share that with those who are desperate enough to maybe be willing to go near where Meister Eckhart discussed, which is of course the path Jesus took when he hung out with and mainly taught the desperate.

Maybe we should just encourage those in the 1st half and fighting about the rules to try to follow their own rules and we should be TRULY VERY GRATEFUL for the lives they try to live and if they are living fairly benevolent lives we should leave them alone and just be and express gratitude towards them for those fairly benevolent lives. Then if or when their own rules might not be working well for them and they might think they need something more we will always be more than willing to share more of the wholeness and freedom of the 2nd half. Even here though we should try to share what they are looking for and the amount they are looking for. We should be honest about our own lives and experience, but not assume it has to be the same for them.