I’ll start by asking why we resort to violence and it seems
like the answer is almost always because we are scared or hurt (probably for
very good reasons). This is easy to see in most of the typical scenarios that
seem to pop into our heads with strangers threatening us or strangers or past
relationships or life in general hurting us. It is a little harder to see in
our close current relationships, which it seems you are trying to focus on
without much luck.
While hidden better the same basic dynamics are at play in these close current relationships, basically fear that we will be hurt and exploited if we do not keep our guard up and ready to fight if needed and actually fight when the threat gets to a certain point. This of course is exacerbated by the fact that we have all been hurt and exploited a lot by various things that have happened in our lives. So basically it is our current real vulnerabilities magnified by our past unresolved pain that causes our current fear (of that vulnerability).
Before moving on lets look at where our very real vulnerabilities at any given time come from. They come from the fact that we are hopelessly an inseparable part of everything else, the alpha and omega - aka God, if you wish, but it is an undeniable fact whether we believe in God or not or whatever God we believe in. And the absolute core of Jesus’ message was that trying to hide or eradicate this vulnerability is what leads to death/hell/evil, and conversely that since God is the alpha and omega (Entirety including Eternity in both directions) embracing these vulnerabilities – the things keeping us separated from/broken off from/lost from God (the Entirety) is the path to the Father/Alpha and Omega/LIFE.
Unfortunately, the church lost this message when if became powerful and did not think it needed to be or embrace vulnerability anymore at the individual, collective, or institutional levels, and has been greatly focused on trying to come up with fancy and complex doctrines and dogmas to rationalize this path in the opposite direction of Jesus ever since. That theology would say that it does embrace vulnerability between individuals and God, but this is a complete lie if it does not embrace vulnerability in and with their immediate surroundings.
I am getting off track though. So let me get back to how this denial of vulnerability at all levels is what leads to violence at all levels. Let’s start with individual close relationships since I think that is what you wanted to focus on and where it all starts. Trying to hide, mask, deny, etc our vulnerabilities is the very thing that makes us guarded/defensive/etc and then leads us to withdrawal or lash out when these vulnerabilities feel threatened. We of course do this for very good reasons, we humans are master manipulators and the best (and maybe only) way to manipulate others is to in various ways (mostly subtle and unknown to all parties involved including the manipulator) prey upon their vulnerabilities.
So the answer is not to simply expose our vulnerabilities in personal relationships or publicly and hope for the best. The answer is to expose the vulnerability and to the extent needed highlight in the most visible and outlandish ways possible if others try to take advantage of that vulnerability. This is what those 200 methods of non-violence have in common and of course what Jesus, MLK, Mandela, and Gandhi were masters at. What really set those 4 apart (and probably others) though was that they did not view the people they were in conflict with as an enemy to be overcome, but rather as a valuable part of the same Entirety to be won over and embraced.
Non-violent methods can be very effective even without the last part, but then are often mitigated by the fact that when they work the person or people who were successful still view the other side as an adversary. And the only answer to this is that they must heal from their past injuries of being hurt and exploited. Until they heal they cannot embrace the other side and inevitably will act from it and try to subjugate the other side (maybe with less violent methods) keeping the conflict simmering for a future eruption.
So how does a person and group heal. It is almost always some flavor of confessing sins (things done to mask, deny, suppress, protect their own vulnerabilities) and trying to make amends or make up for those things done, as well as graciously allowing the other side to do the same thing when it seems they are sincere.
I mostly fail at doing the above things, but do actually try to follow that path in my relationships at home, with friends and at work – allowing myself to be vulnerable, pointing out when people are taking advantage of my or others’ vulnerabilities, confessing when I am taking advantage of them and trying to make amends, as well as trying to graciously allow others to do the same. And I regularly reflect on how I am doing and how I might be able to do better.
While hidden better the same basic dynamics are at play in these close current relationships, basically fear that we will be hurt and exploited if we do not keep our guard up and ready to fight if needed and actually fight when the threat gets to a certain point. This of course is exacerbated by the fact that we have all been hurt and exploited a lot by various things that have happened in our lives. So basically it is our current real vulnerabilities magnified by our past unresolved pain that causes our current fear (of that vulnerability).
Before moving on lets look at where our very real vulnerabilities at any given time come from. They come from the fact that we are hopelessly an inseparable part of everything else, the alpha and omega - aka God, if you wish, but it is an undeniable fact whether we believe in God or not or whatever God we believe in. And the absolute core of Jesus’ message was that trying to hide or eradicate this vulnerability is what leads to death/hell/evil, and conversely that since God is the alpha and omega (Entirety including Eternity in both directions) embracing these vulnerabilities – the things keeping us separated from/broken off from/lost from God (the Entirety) is the path to the Father/Alpha and Omega/LIFE.
Unfortunately, the church lost this message when if became powerful and did not think it needed to be or embrace vulnerability anymore at the individual, collective, or institutional levels, and has been greatly focused on trying to come up with fancy and complex doctrines and dogmas to rationalize this path in the opposite direction of Jesus ever since. That theology would say that it does embrace vulnerability between individuals and God, but this is a complete lie if it does not embrace vulnerability in and with their immediate surroundings.
I am getting off track though. So let me get back to how this denial of vulnerability at all levels is what leads to violence at all levels. Let’s start with individual close relationships since I think that is what you wanted to focus on and where it all starts. Trying to hide, mask, deny, etc our vulnerabilities is the very thing that makes us guarded/defensive/etc and then leads us to withdrawal or lash out when these vulnerabilities feel threatened. We of course do this for very good reasons, we humans are master manipulators and the best (and maybe only) way to manipulate others is to in various ways (mostly subtle and unknown to all parties involved including the manipulator) prey upon their vulnerabilities.
So the answer is not to simply expose our vulnerabilities in personal relationships or publicly and hope for the best. The answer is to expose the vulnerability and to the extent needed highlight in the most visible and outlandish ways possible if others try to take advantage of that vulnerability. This is what those 200 methods of non-violence have in common and of course what Jesus, MLK, Mandela, and Gandhi were masters at. What really set those 4 apart (and probably others) though was that they did not view the people they were in conflict with as an enemy to be overcome, but rather as a valuable part of the same Entirety to be won over and embraced.
Non-violent methods can be very effective even without the last part, but then are often mitigated by the fact that when they work the person or people who were successful still view the other side as an adversary. And the only answer to this is that they must heal from their past injuries of being hurt and exploited. Until they heal they cannot embrace the other side and inevitably will act from it and try to subjugate the other side (maybe with less violent methods) keeping the conflict simmering for a future eruption.
So how does a person and group heal. It is almost always some flavor of confessing sins (things done to mask, deny, suppress, protect their own vulnerabilities) and trying to make amends or make up for those things done, as well as graciously allowing the other side to do the same thing when it seems they are sincere.
I mostly fail at doing the above things, but do actually try to follow that path in my relationships at home, with friends and at work – allowing myself to be vulnerable, pointing out when people are taking advantage of my or others’ vulnerabilities, confessing when I am taking advantage of them and trying to make amends, as well as trying to graciously allow others to do the same. And I regularly reflect on how I am doing and how I might be able to do better.
Expanding a bit in reply to a comment
I do not think we disagree at all that the
powerful that are corrupt and oppress should be fought against.
I am saying that shinning as large of a light as possible on that oppression and corruption that exploits the vulnerable is the best answer – taking the emperor’s cloths to expose what everyone will recognize as vile. To be in solidarity with the vulnerable, as the people we most revere have been. This is the type of fighting that the powerful truly fear and that creates change if there is enough solidarity from the masses.
The problem with fighting with violence is that it does not highlight and expose the oppression, corruption, and exploitation because most people accurately view it as simply two sides fighting for dominance and to impose their will on as much as they can. And when the masses get restless the powerful always try to bait them into this violent fight for this exact reason.
And unfortunately unless someone has embraced their own vulnerability as their own path to solidarity with everything else, they inevitably are blinded to most of the above and think if only they had sufficient power they would rule magnanimously. And yet they will not rule magnanimously unless they have embraced their own vulnerability as the only path to connection and union with the Entirety, aka God.
I am saying that shinning as large of a light as possible on that oppression and corruption that exploits the vulnerable is the best answer – taking the emperor’s cloths to expose what everyone will recognize as vile. To be in solidarity with the vulnerable, as the people we most revere have been. This is the type of fighting that the powerful truly fear and that creates change if there is enough solidarity from the masses.
The problem with fighting with violence is that it does not highlight and expose the oppression, corruption, and exploitation because most people accurately view it as simply two sides fighting for dominance and to impose their will on as much as they can. And when the masses get restless the powerful always try to bait them into this violent fight for this exact reason.
And unfortunately unless someone has embraced their own vulnerability as their own path to solidarity with everything else, they inevitably are blinded to most of the above and think if only they had sufficient power they would rule magnanimously. And yet they will not rule magnanimously unless they have embraced their own vulnerability as the only path to connection and union with the Entirety, aka God.
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