I do not know about at the sub-atomic level much, but the
cause of the separation at the more visible levels is trying to avoid our own
inescapable vulnerability from being hopelessly connected to everything else.
We have no reality separate from our surroundings. Our reality is only in how
we fit into and relate to our surroundings, the things we interact with,
whether that be alone in nature, with one other person, with groups, or
with the universe as a whole. We are in some ways also separate and unique and
that is part of our reality, but that can only ever be part of our reality. We
have no reality that does not include how we relate and fit into things beyond
ourselves.
Being hopelessly connected to everything else means we are dependent upon everything
else, but for my purposes here I want to focus mainly on our immediate
surroundings, and the fact that it means we are vulnerable to our surroundings,
including people. This vulnerability is what we have been trying to cheat,
deny, suppress, and otherwise avoid since we developed consciousness (the
awareness of being somewhat separate). Trying to avoid that inherent
inescapable vulnerability is original sin or the fall. This includes our own
natural inclination to deny and avoid it as well as all the worldly systems we
have created and live under that are built upon its denial and suppression.
As such, vulnerability is the stone the builder refused, which becomes the
cornerstone. This is of course a near perfect analogy since a cornerstone is
the foundation stone or first stone from which everything else is built up
from, and vulnerability is the inescapable fact that binds everything together
for good or ill depending upon if we acknowledge it and maybe even celebrate it
or deny and suppress it. I do not mean celebrate it as in trying to achieve or
increase vulnerability for its own sake, but rather celebrate being united with
everything else, which can only occur after we accept the inherent
vulnerability of being part of something greater than ourself. In other words
celebrate the key step or stumbling block of truly being in union because of
where it leads.
I am not saying anything new here when I say that our troubles are caused by
our attempts to avoid this inherent vulnerability, which we experience as
pain/discomfort/suffering. However, we all seem to need to be constantly
reminded, most of all me. The jumping off place for Buddhism are the noble
truths regarding this suffering from our inescapable vulnerability. In
Christianity, this jumping off place is the way of the cross or taking up our
cross, which is essentially accepting the pain, discomfort, and vulnerability
inherent in the LIFE Jesus came to share with us. And of course neither
religion stops there and both say if we jump and follow where it leads we will
find ourselves a new creation that is exactly what we have been looking for and
beyond our wildest dreams all at the same time.
This happens because what we experience as pain/discomfort/suffering is
actually from trying to avoid and deny this vulnerability and when we stop
doing this we experience the LIFE Jesus was talking about, which is embracing
the messy and unpredictable world as it is, as well as the messy and fragile
(alone by ourself) person we are. When we do this we will be and feel embraced
back and what we thought was pain and suffering that we had to avoid at all
cost becomes wholeness internally and with everything else, the Entirety that I
call God, but it does not matter what we call it, the process and results are
the same.
When we avoid this process (which I most commonly still do) we are avoiding
what actually is (LIFE) and thus the dead burying the dead. Part of being in
this sense dead is being blinded to the possibility of any other way. Ever
since we developed consciousness (the ability to see ourselves as separate and
evaluate how we fit in or ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
if you like) we have been using that to try to hide our own inherent
vulnerability from being part of everything else. Fortunately this makes us
miserable and we search for better answers. Unfortunately, finding those better
answers requires a lot of luck (grace), courage (action in spite of fear, aka
faith), perseverance, and a lot more luck (grace).
As you mentioned each of our struggles are somewhat unique, although there are
many similarities in the process. Generally some combination of suffering and
love, mostly suffering for most, makes trying to continue to avoid our
vulnerability impossible and we surrender to it at least a little, most
commonly without knowing that might be fruitful. Then if we are lucky we find
someone or a small group of people who seem to accept us even in what we
probably view as a hopelessly defective state (and alone it is that). This could
be a friend(s), therapist, clergy member, or in the beginning might even be an
animal, like a dog. Sometimes it is also God alone, especially in nature, but
there are no absolutes here.
From here we need more luck to recognize it is only when allowing ourselves to
be vulnerable that we are capable of connection and still more luck to find
people and places that allow us to practice that and find it fruitful. The
still blind dead will try to kill it and we’ll need a lot of courage,
perseverance, and luck to continue and find places where we can fruitfully
practice it and grow strong in our faith individually and collectively. Part of
this will be finding others to support in their own fledgling attempts to do
likewise and push back against the institutions and practices that exploit any
vulnerability they can find to continue their lonely pursuit of avoiding their
own vulnerability.
Always going on way way too long I’ll stay true to form and
start in from a little different angle. I do not personally like the term true
self because all of me and everything else is true, the good, bad, and ugly. I
used to prefer the deepest self and now prefer to refer to it as simply
wholeness, but I think I mean basically the same thing by wholeness that others
mean by true self. They are all about being unblocked and whole.
Even if we were never hurt by our experience of the world we would want to and
try to hide our vulnerability. It is simply part of what makes us human.
However, we are often hurt deeply by our experience of the world and this makes
us develop barriers or blocks to protect our self and our vulnerability from
actually experiencing the world. And as discussed above to the extent we are
avoiding experiencing the world/our reality we are in an emotional/spiritual
sense dead. Our own collection of barriers/blocks is what some refer to as our
false self, another term I do not like because if they are my blocks they are a
true part of me.
Anyway, these blocks are both what keeps us from wholeness and also our path to
wholeness with ourself and everything else. The different methods and specifics
of them are beyond my scope here (thankfully something is, right?) However, to
generalize it is always by processing the hurt in some way that led to needing
the block that the block is removed, and even more importantly we learn from
the vulnerable part of us that was hurt and is involved in the processing how
to interact differently with the world as to prevent re-injury much of the time
and know even when someone hurts us going forward it is that person rejecting
their own vulnerable self and not really about us at all. So we may be wise to
avoid that person but it does not actually have to hurt or threaten our own
wholeness/core/true self/etc.
As we get unblocked we experience our observing and integrating mind, which is
very different than our thinking mind. For most of us our thinking mind mainly
tries to justify and support our blocks, but when trained can learn to become a
powerful tool for translating and articulating the insights from our observing
and integrating mind.
Our observing and integrating mind is what actually experiences our reality
though, moment to moment, to the extent we are unblocked. It is the part of us
that automatically knows we are part of everything else and experiences that
connection and union through its very being and its origin, from the big bang
and evolution for example, as well as through our senses and awareness itself
of our surroundings and hence our connection to those surroundings.
Addictions (as the word is commonly understood) are one of
countless ways of masking, denying or otherwise avoiding our inherent
vulnerability, all of which turn into something like addictions themselves.
